I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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