i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
