it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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