he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
