I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wanna go halves on a baby?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
