You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
