Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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