Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
