I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
