well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
