let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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