My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
