I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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