Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
