how can u be prego again
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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