my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
