I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
