OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
