dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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