he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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