so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
