I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
