he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
