his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
