The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
