I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
