I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
