i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
