This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
