Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
