i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
