you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Randomize
