Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
