But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
