I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I supernannyed him into submission
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
