Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
