Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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