He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
