I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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