Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
