help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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