Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
