I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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