U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
