are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
