Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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