didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
