Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
