I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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