Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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