I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
