She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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