Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
