i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize