***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
