if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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