Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
