i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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