Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
