nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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