Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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