Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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