Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
