i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
did you just send me my own nude
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
