VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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