Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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