i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Help. Why am I so naked?
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