We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
