if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How's work?
Spinning.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
