So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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