I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
